birthday

I had a relaxed, peaceful birthday on Sunday. I woke up to find a message written in seashells outside my door ("Happy Birtday" without the h) from the other volunteers. It was very sweet. At breakfast, all the orphans came into the office and sang an extended version of "happy birthday" to me and handed me a homemade card. I loved it.

money can't buy me love

Lately I've been getting the feeling that my money is more valuable that my time and presence here. Things have been a bit weird and hostile here between David (the headmaster) and the volunteers. We've been trying to talk with him about what he wants and expects from us, but whenever I try to talk with him it gets me nowhere. When we ask him something he goes on and on and it feels like he's lecturing us and treating us as if we're children. He repeats himself and avoids answering our questions and it's extremely frustrating. Another volunteer and myself have starting teaching six of the orphans how to read after school, but we've been facing a lot of problems, mainly because the kids are often working or playing football when we want to teach them. And now David has told us that our method of teaching is wrong and we have to do everything his way.

The new girl

A new orphan arrived here a few days ago. She's eleven years old and Child Protection Services came and brought her. She was basically a human trafficking victim, doing labor work for someone with another little girl and ran away. They were in Togo and when they were found and travelled over here, the other girl ran away and M (I'm not even going to attempt to spell her name) came here by herself. When I first saw her she was crying and looked so frightened. I just wanted to hold her, but I knew that would scare her too. Nobody knew what language she spoke because she wouldn't speak to anyone. Luckily, we got her to eat and she went to bed. The next day, she seemed like a brand new girl. She became fast friends with Delight and she was laughing and playing. I couldn't believe how brave and resilient she was. I'm pretty sure she stole some money from my table in my room (it was actually Mawunyo's pocket money which he wanted me to keep safe), but I'm not even that upset because I can't really blame her after what's she's been through. I want her to trust me and know that I'm nonthreatening and I will certainly not harm her in anyway.

Fame

Being white in Ghana is almost like being famous. Everyone notices you and you attract so much attention. People call out to you (Ya vu!). People want to talk to you, touch you, marry you. It's so strange for me. I've never been so aware of my skin color before.

I don't think people who hate children should work at an orphanage. There's a man here who works at the orphanage. I don't know exactly what is job is (someone told me he's the "caretaker") and the only thing he seems to do is yell and order the children around. I really dislike him and find him very offensive. He shows no love, empathy or respect for the orphans. He constantly describes them as "thieves, dishonest, dangerous, untrustworthy." Not only is he rude to the children, but I feel that he has been rude to me as well. He likes to find fault in everything I do; I eat with the wrong hand, I don't sweep the right way, I don't eat enough, etc. He's also always laughing at me, and not in a friendly sort of way, but in a condescending way. The volunteers and I just don't understand him. He doesn't seem to understand that they are just children. When we try to help them with chores, he yells at them. If they come over to us while we're eating at lunchtime, he yells at them. When one of the volunteers tried to give them a mirror, he refused to let them keep it because it "would be a bad influence." And the physical abuse is the worst part. What can I do? I know that if I tried to stop it, if I gave the children another punishment, as soon as I leave, they would still be hit. Last night, one of the orphans, Godsway, was being hit during dinner. The sound of the strikes to his arm and his cries was just horrifying.